Baby dreaming on changing mat

Chapter 3 – Go with the Flow

This post is likely to divide opinion: some of you may think I’ve crossed the line in oversharing, others won’t even blink an eye at the words I write. A bit like Marmite, you’ll either love this post or hate it.

You’ll understand better later. But first, I wanted to update you a little on this writer’s life with a (nearly) newborn and a toddler. It’s been a pretty chaotic week. Not least because Baby Hugh has hit the four month sleep deprivation two weeks early, and none of us are thanking him for it. You’ll know by now that I have high expectations of so many things in life, so when he previously had started a run of nine-hour nights straight-through (hallelujah), I had hoped that sleep was here to stay. (Hoped, but not truly believed – Oscar didn’t sleep through consistently until he was almost three!) I’d thought we’d hit the jackpot and got one of those ‘sleeper’ babies – what happened?!

On top of the sleep deprivation, one scrumptious Thai meal for me resulted with a day and a half of discomfort and screaming for Baby Hugh. After seeing his brother struggle as an infant with food allergies, we had desperately hoped that Hugh would not. Hoping wasn’t good enough though, as Hugh – like Oscar – appears to be allergic to both dairy and soy. I honestly feel like we’ve caught the raw end of the deal here – well, I have at least – no chocolate, no cheese, no yoghurt or cake, no milk in my tea, no Dominos pizza and now, no Thai food either – breastfeeding is becoming a little over-rated. But when your infant refuses to take the special everything-free formula as a substitute, what’s a mum to do? (Besides eat her body-weight in Bourbon biscuits, that is – these are both dairy and soy free too. Thank goodness!)

So, between, mopping up baby-sick and dozing at traffic lights, finding the time to write has been harder than hoped this week. My focus has been, well – rather unfocused.

I have accomplished a first draft to one of my stories though. It is definitely just a first draft – I’m unhappy with the ending and the language needs to be played with so that I can make the rhythm of the text sound right, but at least the outline of the story is down  on the page. Next week, I hope to play around with the words a little. I’ll be honest – I am completely unsure if this is the right way to write a book, but for now, it’s the way I’m writing mine – sometimes you just have to go with the flow.

Which leads nicely onto why this post is a bit like Marmite; if you’re squeamish or a bit prudish, please look away now… Like I said, Hugh is not yet four months, I am exclusively breastfeeding – how on earth has my period returned already??!! I thought this wasn’t meant to happen for some months as yet. It was completely unexpected. My initial reaction was that there was something wrong with the baby – then I realised that I wasn’t pregnant anymore, the baby was fine. Next came the contractions – I had forgotten that this happened after giving birth. And finally, the low mood. It has been over a year since I’ve had a period – again, I had forgotten that this is how my body responds to it. Still, if my cycle is anything like it was before, then I know that next week it doesn’t matter what happens in life, I will be on a hormonal high. Does this happen to anyone else too?

If you’ve not been scared off yet and are still reading, thank-you – though it’s probably best that I finish this chapter here. An over-sharer at the best of times, I am typing whilst drinking a glass of red (yes, wine is allowed on the dairy and soy free diet too – woohoo), so I daren’t risk writing much more. I’ll leave you with a little piece of advice, should you find yourself dozing at red lights, dreaming of cheese too – tomorrow you can start over, today you should just go with the flow.


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